As can happen in this pandemic and post-pandemic world, I have belonged to a wonderful networking group, TNG, for going on three years and last night, in NYC, they had a pre-holiday gathering which I decided to attend. I had only met 3 of the 20+ people there in person prior to last night. Two have been friends for years. 

What a different experience to meet folks in person after so long. What a great reminder it was that the energy you bring to a room is what people will remember the most, and it is what most stands out. The connection and the joy of watching them as they speak and exude who they are was such fun…

Energetics is really why I am thrilled to again offer my signature 10-month program:  Women in Transition.  The rave reviews from the current members are enough to spur me on to commit to do another group simultaneously. So, I’m starting another one in February. 

The lives and businesses being transformed are inspirational, yet it is the intimacy developing between the members that makes a massive shift for me. I can feel the difference, the desire to hear what has happened since we met last, the emotional support being offered between each other. I can feel it. The energy is the story. It reflects the changes, the warmth, the fears and the shared tears, challenges and successes.       

Are you conscious of what energy you put out? 

Occasionally I hear folks say to me, “But I didn’t mean anything by it.” Yes, but… The energy behind what you said was aggressive, or degrading, or judgmental, so what they actually “heard” was the energy and that more than the words hurt or enraged them. We can’t play victim when our energy is antagonistic, consciously or otherwise. We can learn from it though. 

A client recently said to me: ”Why are so many people so cruel to me, so dismissive, as if I didn’t matter at all.” Clients, friends, and even hired help were treating her that way. When we looked at how she allows folks to treat her second-rate, by accepting it, she was training them to what she expected. She insisted that people should just treat each other wonderfully and I agree. That is a great concept. However, many people, not conscious of that, will simply treat you according to your expectations and the energy you put out there. 

No, I don’t suggest you get angry or hurt, simply that one warm but grounded, or firm, “I was offended when… or I prefer you ask me what I would like rather than decide my (whatever) for me…. Responding to what feels like mistreatment rather than reacting, puts out a dramatically different energy. It also says, “I exist and want to be heard.” I don’t shout yet nobody seems to miss my approval or disapproval. One look, one expressed expectation does it. 

If you want success, if you want peace, if you want joy, what energy are you putting out there? Think of how energetically powerful we are. What you put there is what you bring back. Amazingly, when you smile at folks they usually smile back, when you treat someone with kindness, they usually do the same. Decide how you energetically want to walk through your day and your life and guess what – chances are you’ll get it. 

Happy and successful energetics to you!   


About Dorothy

Dr. Dorothy’s life story of coming from an orphanage, being raised in the housing projects of South Boston, becoming a Catholic nun, an international airline stewardess, a wife, mother, graduate faculty member, Clinical Instructor at a Medical School, and so much more provides the perfect backdrop for her message of joy, humor, passion and faith as the necessary tools for life.