This may sound like a strange question since, of course you do, is the logical response, yet…
My LinkedIn profile says: Guiding Visionary Leaders Through Transition. Challenging existing paradigms, discovering innovative solutions, and honoring value-driven leadership, through personal transformation for success on all levels.
Before working with someone, one of my questions is, what are the values you bring to the table that are most important to you? There may be a blank stare since they hadn’t really thought about it, or they may recite what they believe are the values they “should” have. In reality, the “should” values may be what they learned as children or heard about at a seminar.
With hundreds, if not thousands, of values that are worthy of honoring, looking for the “right” ones is a mind game. It also can make it very difficult to live by them if they don’t reflect who you truly are. For me, being a visionary, inquisitive, thinking out of the box, being innovative, compassionate, non-judgmental, and upfront are imperative. Humor and faith are my guiding principles. These all reflect who I am as well as how I approach my work and my life. For someone else, some or all of these may be absolutely uncomfortable and foreign. Knowing my values would either drive them to work with me because they realize they need that perspective or drive them away because these are so opposite of theirs. Not right or wrong, just not at all what they want in their life – thus a bad fit for them. It’s a good choice for each of us.
Are the values you profess to have truly how you live your life?
Do you profess openness yet really mean, only when they believe as you do?
Do you reject all ideas you didn’t come up with?
Perhaps openness is really what you value but you have been living in self-betrayal and that is why you are now uncomfortable in your own skin. Perhaps fear and self-protection has caused you to hold on tight to who you think you need to be, or believe, versus taking the risk of living by beliefs that make you feel most alive, most at peace, and most able to see life as the gift it is.
We know our values, and/or our commitment to them, solely by how we live.
- What motivates you?
- What allows you to take that deep breath and know you are where you are meant to be?
- What risks have you taken that allow you to feel that you have made room for you in your life – with little or only occasional fear of being rejected or failing?
- Do your values, even kindness, only apply to others or can you apply them to yourself as well?
Knowing your values, allows you to only bring in the friends and business associates who most feed your soul, your life purpose, and your sense of wellbeing. They call you to act, lead, and influence in a way that calls others to live theirs or perhaps even to elevate their own to model yours. Your ability for impact and influence increases enormously when your authenticity, values, and vision align with others calling them to stretch, to grow, and be inspired. Take the time needed in reflection to discover/remember these invaluable tools for inner peace and joy…
