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This time of year, with all the catching up or completion of unfinished projects that needs to take place, life can show you the ways in which you have avoided thinking, feeling, or dealing.

It can also show you, if you care to see, the ways in which you got lost along the way. Reflecting on the past year now, and not waiting until on December 31, allows you the time needed as you do that catching up, to recognize that you either chase all the shiny objects, take on too many plans that keep you stressed, overwhelmed and overloaded, or simply perhaps that you have a hard time staying focused. FOMO, fear of missing out, can also be a means of betraying the peace and daily reflection time that allows you to not only keep focused but to also plan accordingly. Not every “opportunity” needs to be grabbed. Can you trust the Universe, or Spirit, or fate, that if you are meant to work with someone or something that it will happen?

We are blessed as a friend said recently, to be “on this side of the grass.” Because of that blessing, we have the ability to decide how it is we want to live this life we are living. I am usually a person who stays home weeknights now (pre-COVID there were 2-3 networking events a week) and loved it. This weekend however, I did a “high tea” with two girlfriends and had lots of laughs, great conversation, and a wonderful day topped off with a glass of wine as we celebrated the gift of friendship. The next day I had a Friendsgiving here at my home with more laughter, lots of food, and several more friends. This upcoming week was scheduled with one late work night and then 4 different Holiday Gatherings. I finally had to say “No.” I canceled one.

It’s a microcosm of what some others do year-round. No thank you. Alone time, quiet time, time to catch up with all the things on my list, and time to just breathe and feed my soul… Having permission to know what feeds you, can call you to say “No.” whenever needed.  Do you have permission from yourself to support you? Are you willing to look at what is too much for you? It is irrelevant what is “normal” or wanted. What is your norm? What is your limit of activities?

Can you see that when you look at your work schedules it’s no different? How frequently do you feel obligated to do this or that? Are you really? Are you frightened that if you don’t participate in everything you will be forgotten? Replaced? Considered un-invested? 

Sometimes, that fast pace is about running, Running from your feelings or your fears. Sometimes that running is that you’re trying to fit in or belong. Sometimes, it can be your way of avoiding situations or relationships you don’t want or know how to handle. Sometimes, that running is your way of learning. Regardless, running frequently ends up in having too many tasks or extra projects, too much volunteering, and way too much chaos.

Watching and understanding through observing what you are dealing with these next few weeks, can honestly show you where and how you can create a life that is more balanced, more joyful, and most importantly, more you. Doing so while you are in the recovery stage – the last-minute crush – can help you see it in real time versus later in looking back when you can forget or justify the process….   Learn now, why wait!


Dr. Dorothy’s life story of coming from an orphanage, being raised in the housing projects of South Boston, becoming a Catholic nun, an international airline stewardess, a wife, mother, graduate faculty member, Clinical Instructor at a Medical School, and so much more provides the perfect backdrop for her message of joy, humor, passion and faith as the necessary tools for life.