Skip to main content

Over the years I have met, as I am sure you have too, many who profess to be an expert at this or that, nonetheless it’s being considered an expert by others that is the real tell. Because, claiming the title, in integrity, requires quite a bit more than many, if not most, may be willing to pay to achieve that honor. It requires a lot more than just an education.

Such as, something as simple as learning from your experiences which experts do naturally, is extremely simple, yet not always easy since it requires the ability to step back, give up any illusion of having all the answers, and learn from your strengths, doubts, missteps, and willingness to take risks. Humility mixed with self-assuredness… 

I was honored last week to lunch with two very different folks in NYC, each with their own expertise, yet I am fully aware neither would take on the title of expert, no matter how much it may fit. They put it on me and as with them, I can humbly say I am always, almost daily, learning so much more. It leaves me to ask: “What is an expert?” I would suggest, someone who has such a great love for a unique work and an understanding of its intricacies since they have experienced it repeatedly over a long period of time, from many different angles and yet consistently are willing to learn from the latest opportunity.  

Nowhere in there is it implied that all things or all aspects of any specialty are necessarily understood, only that the love of it will keep someone pursuing an endless learning of their subject matter. What a gift to themselves and what a gift to others when it is shared.

Whether it is the loss of a relationship, or the transitioning of one, or the 5th time of observing a situation from a different angle, we can learn by allowing ourselves to experience it fully, sometimes painfully, sometimes logically, and still sometimes with hope and great vision. In allowing ourselves to experience it, we learn, we grow, and we are transformed. The wisdom that comes from an experience can breed calm, acceptance, and a knowing, even in sadness or fear. 

Respecting others who possess that level of wisdom, of knowing, is realizing that they have truly lived this life, not survived it. They have truly walked with their eyes open, so that they can learn and consequently teach others. We are each blessed when they are in our presence. 

In working with my clients who are going through transition, at times I see them frightened, bewildered, excited, sad, in dread, and still always with a wide variance of hope. For some it’s very little and yet for others, a huge amount with a touch of faith in the mix. My gift is to show them the light at the end of the tunnel while leading them through every one of those emotions and perhaps even more, often while they are learning new skills and crafting a new vision…   

Knowing the sadness of it all on a personal level, I also know the fear, the fear of regret, the many voices in your head that can give so many conflicting messages. We may be wishing that life, you, the situation were all different, yet nothing is. Transition comes when on some level we are ready for more. The real question is “”Will you fight where you are going or will you acknowledge that always, we are guided and life happens to support us in taking that next risk, accepting that next gift, and often one we never imagined receiving???”

Wishing you a blessed transition if you are in the midst of one, and a blessed week as well.


Dr. Dorothy’s life story of coming from an orphanage, being raised in the housing projects of South Boston, becoming a Catholic nun, an international airline stewardess, a wife, mother, graduate faculty member, Clinical Instructor at a Medical School, and so much more provides the perfect backdrop for her message of joy, humor, passion and faith as the necessary tools for life.