The real hunger isn’t for success—it’s for meaning.
When we grab for something, for instant gratification, we are running. We are running from ourselves, from fear of failure, fear of incompetence, fear of feeling lost, lonely, unwanted, unneeded, and so on. We grab in order not to feel. We tell ourselves we deserve this, whatever it is. We find ways to justify the choice until eventually, for some, we don’t even justify it, we just take it – the thing or the experience.
When we are in survival mode, we collapse, or we reach. For wins. For validation. For more. But no matter how much we achieve, it rarely satisfies. Because we’re not hungry for success or for those things, we’re hungry for connection. Purpose. Presence. Being seen.
Instant gratification is a clever distraction. It promises joy but delivers noise. It is easily recognizable because if we weren’t justifying it before, we justify it afterwards. We all know better but as we all know, that doesn’t mean we do better. Welcome to humanity; we have all done it. The difference is some of us have done it a few times, some of us live that lifestyle.
Whether it’s a purchase, time off, an affair, or a moment of rebellion, when it’s over, and sometimes even in the middle of it, we recognize that what we’ve done is a form of self-betrayal. It’s not who we are or who we want to be. It’s acting out. It’s a child’s reaction even if we’re 85. The worst part of it is the betrayal. The “Damn, what was I thinking?” Sometimes the cost is minimal. Work out for another 20 minutes and that treat has lost its effect. Sometimes the cost is much larger. Your integrity, your job, your marriage, your health. Without judgement, it is all the same in one way. You lost you in that moment. You gave up what you knew was best for you.
How great if your few moments of instant gratification could be worked off in the gym, how sad if the cost was so much higher. Knowing what we value, knowing the impact we want to have in the bigger world, in our small world, and knowing the legacy we want to leave, calls us to be conscious of the choices we make. Go for that gratification on occasion if you get the urge, but know the cost, honestly recognize it, and make the choice knowingly. At that point it doesn’t need to be justified, your defiance and child-like innocence can even be adorable but only when the cost is negligible.
In the process, remember and value who you are, your values, and your legacy. What lasts isn’t the next purchase or choice; what lasts is alignment, your legacy. They are based on a lifestyle, not a single choice. Recognize the feeling that your life is congruent with your soul. It makes it so much easier to know if this is really what you want. Is this playful or is it a much larger means of self-betrayal and pain? Don’t play roulette with your integrity or values. Now, what are you really searching for? Are you looking to be seen? Loved? Heard? How could you achieve that while in integrity? That urge is a call to awaken to a deeper level of self-knowing. What a gift!
Call to Action: Revisit a dream you abandoned. What does it need to come alive again? Maybe it’s time.
