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One of the ironies of life is that we are called, almost compelled, to go after our dreams and set creative goals. Those visions and our commitment to them, are what give us the ability to walk around obstacles and persevere even when all seems hopeless and yet the gift of being detached from the outcome frequently makes the attempt so much purer, so much more valuable than the “win” itself.

I saw a movie this weekend, Arthur the King, based on a true story. The ending reminded me so much of what I have seen and experienced in achieving goals, for myself, clients, and others. After previous failed attempts to win, the disgraced head of a 435-mile endurance race team, (biking, hiking, running, etc.) attempts his last chance at winning this race. He “needs” this win. His ego “needs” it. His earlier attempts of pushing through at all costs, with a very narrow vision on anything other than a winning, cost him, and his team, dearly.  

The win was still important, yet the focus now also included a desire to run as both the leader and also as a team member. As team members they each came to celebrate little wins while appreciating each other’s skills. Miraculously, it was all working, and they were in first place and the sure winners yet Arthur, a stray dog who had befriended the team, was drowning and the team turned around to save him thus coming in second place. 

For the team, that second place still felt like a massive win. They knew they had it, they did it, as a unified team, supporting each other, even Arthur, through various difficulties. They were able to live in the moment, relish what was happening, and adapt their technique as was needed. They came through as a team which was not the primary focus when it all began yet it was what gave them the strength and vision to truly win. They achieved what they thought was impossible. In the end, becoming detached from the outcome and refocusing on the team, made it all so much sweeter.

That attachment to an outcome can prevent us from seeing so much more of what is taking place.

It can prevent us from seeing a far bigger picture than simply one ego-based prize.  Loving the excitement of the outcome but seeing so much more simultaneously, allows us to objectively see where we are, where we are going, and the price we are paying to “win.”

My clients have already “won” their dream yet frequently have lost sight of their initial dream and have added on “bigger” and bigger wins to prove themselves or to “survive,” forgetting the gift of stopping long enough to see how far they come and what they have already achieved. It is usually so much more than they ever could have imagined. 

Having goals and dreams is important, and life-giving. They call out our passion and vibrancy. Never stop having them yet remember there is so much more to life than the outcome. Frequently, that is just the motivator that causes us to discover the real purpose, and the spiritual or greater ending that brings us far more alive and far more ourselves than we ever would have achieved without it. 

Have a great and inspirational week!  


Dr. Dorothy’s life story of coming from an orphanage, being raised in the housing projects of South Boston, becoming a Catholic nun, an international airline stewardess, a wife, mother, graduate faculty member, Clinical Instructor at a Medical School, and so much more provides the perfect backdrop for her message of joy, humor, passion and faith as the necessary tools for life.