Whether or not you think of yourself as a leader, you are always leading something. Think about it for a minute.
You are leading the emotional tone of a room.
You are leading conversations – sometimes without speaking.
You are leading how others regulate themselves in your presence.
You set up expectations of how to treat you and how to act or react around you, naturally. This is not about title or responsibility. It is about impact.
I was speaking to a college age woman today and it shocked her to think that she is always teaching, leading others regularly in how to treat her. She is setting the stage in how others perceive her. This was all in teaching her to become conscious of how she wants to be seen, to be treated, and to be thought of. The message she would be giving when she applied for an internship could be consciously chosen or not. Her choice.
Long before people respond to what you say, they respond to how you are. Your nervous system, your level of presence, your relationship with pressure – all of it quietly organizes the space around you. When a marine walks in the room, do you stand straighter? When a rabbi, monk, or priest walks in the room are you conscious of your language?
This is why leadership cannot be reduced to skills alone. So many more-powerful energies enter the room even before you get to flaunt your skills or your knowledge.
It’s important to note that under stress, we do not rise to our best intentions. We default to familiar patterns – beliefs, defenses, and strategies that once protected us. Over time, those patterns shape cultures, families, organizations, and lives. Unfortunately, most people never pause to examine these. They work harder. They refine techniques. They assume the answer is “more” when in fact it is clarity, awareness, and presence.
The most powerful and effective leadership evolves when personal awareness deepens. When you begin to see from where you are leading – rather than just what you are doing – choice returns. Energy shifts. Interactions soften or sharpen with surprising ease. Clean clear actions come from clean clear thinking and it feels so much better.
You do not need to become someone else to lead well. You need to understand who you already are under pressure and not – and recognize no matter the situation, you are a leader in it.
This is the work beneath the work. And it is always shaping more than we realize, not only you but all those in your world as well. Think about the potential to transform so much solely through awareness of your energy and your willingness to share it through leading the way.
