It takes three days to truly arrive—and only one to start forgetting again.
Living on the Caribbean Island of Anguilla, BWI, for ten years, I witnessed something profound and totally unexpected. As an American, I was conditioned to think of the one-week vacation as a global norm. How incorrect I was… I came to see that Americans would fly in exhausted, spend three days trying to get settled and unwind, then have one day, Wednesday, to breathe and see our exquisite country because by Thursday and Friday they were consumed with gifts, packing, and schedules.
They called it a vacation. I saw it as an interlude. The opportunity to just be, to simply breathe in the exquisite Caribbean breeze, to smell the exotic flowers and bushes that were everywhere, to absorb the beauty of the blue/green water, and allow the gentleness of the island to sooth all the stress they arrived with was truly missed, except maybe for a quick moment when they stepped off the plane before getting in the van to the resort. The American culture seemed to demand productivity without serenity. Work was seen as having meaning in itself – rather than it being a reflection of someone’s life purpose.
In contrast, Canadians and Europeans had a very different approach. It was reflected in a far more extended holiday—3, 4, or 6 weeks were the norm—which brought a very different experience providing reflection, realignment, peace, and community. They got to know some of us who lived there and as a result they got the experience of the island culture. They got the opportunity to be far enough and long enough away from their regular life that they could see it objectively. Would they change anything? Had they lost their way this year, lost a sense of their values? Did they have an experience this year, a death, a loss, a child moving away, that needed time to be integrated? Consequently, do they need down time to plan how their life could/would change? An actual vacation could provide that. They had the opportunity to return totally refreshed, solid in themselves, and ready to reinvest their lives at home.
So often I have heard friends here in the states say, “I need a break after my vacation. I’m exhausted.” or “I’m so stressed knowing all the work I have to go back to in order to catch up.” Have you said those yourself? In being compassionate, and not naively expecting the American culture to change by Tuesday, what if we didn’t wait for a theoretical beach break to reclaim our balance? What if in working at an achiever pace, we still slowed down once we got home? We helped our partner without whatever chores they were undertaking, and we celebrated being together? What if work reflected who we are and in coming home we got to see the rest of ourselves? The playful self? The parenting self? The lover? The contemplative?
What if time with our family or loved ones was the time to reconnect, to remember what each person’s love language is? The truth? We’re not just overworking. We’ve lost the art of being. Of spaciousness. Of living connected to what matters most and, perhaps, even remembering what matters. Recognizing is the first step, doing something about it is where the change happens.
Call to Action: Plan a half-day retreat for yourself this week. No screens. No tasks. Just space. You don’t have to leave your city to come home to yourself.
