What did you trade for your success—and was it worth it?
So often, in this western world, we’re taught to pursue success at all costs. Almost as if our credibility or even our right to exist was dependent upon our level of success, whatever that means. I have seen so many clients, male and female, striving for success as if that credibility gave them the validation they needed to prove they were OK or better than OK, GREAT!
Somewhere, our worth and our proof of love, became comparable to our ability to provide financially for those we love. The harder I work, the more I am showing you I love you and I will protect you. What if that wasn’t the truth? What if I made enough to pay for all the basics, food, shelter, health care, and then how much I participated in our lives as a family proved how much I love?
Sadly, many of us have paid a high price—trading time, health, presence, even intimacy—for the sake of building something out there. Our careers, or our professional relationships, become our home base while the home where we live becomes the “other” place we are nowhere near as connected to. For some, as we have seen recently, the blurred lines create an unfortunate and unrealized expense. At some point, we are called to ask, “At what cost am I becoming the provider, the star of the show?”
It’s easy to overlook the subtle signs. Being constantly “on.” Feeling alone even in a crowd. Losing track of what truly matters while climbing the ladder. Having our careers become our home base. All this calls us to assess where and how we lost sight of the cost of this success and the disconnections that can occur because of it, without intention. At what point did our sense of direction and objectives become misconstrued?
If your success has come with a quiet ache or an unshakable fatigue, you’re not alone. Many leaders don’t realize they’re in survival mode, regardless of the millions, the power, and the luxuries, until the body breaks down or a relationship collapses. Then the shock says, “How much more could I have done?” or, more profoundly, “What did they really need or want from me?” personally, “When was the last time I felt joy just being—not doing?”
Losing ourselves is far too high a cost, losing our direction, our values, and our joy is more than we should pay for any external “win.” We each have a spiritual purpose, for our own personal journey as well as for how each of us is here to make this world a better place. Taking quiet time to stop, listen, and learn is imperative. As a result:
Call to Action: Block one full hour this week. Any day or time. No phone. No agenda. Just stillness. Let your soul catch up with the wisdom you have begun to acquire.
