Unlocking Your ‘Why’, Releasing Your ‘Be’ and Dictating Your ‘Do’

By March 14, 2017Articles

Emotional Intelligence, and mindfulness, as a practice, prepare you for so much more in living that dream since by their nature they are each introspective, spiritually driven and all-encompassing. Many clients I have worked with seemed to go through life simply doing what was presented to them, what they “fell into.” There were also those that were very alive, passionate, and focused, clear on their dreams, their directions, and how they wanted to get there. They knew their inner, driving force.

You may have success at the moment, your business and your personal life may be doing fine, so the next question becomes: Are you doing what you came here to do? Are you living your purpose for this point in your life?  Are you simply getting through your life or are you causing it to unfold, each and every day? It is false to believe that complacency is a natural byproduct of life. It comes from an unconscious choice for safety. When we live life as it is meant to be with all its fullness ,we risk on a daily basis. Those risks eliminate complacency and bring depth, joy, and a sense of accomplishment.

The risks you take will be frightening (if they weren’t where is the risk?)  yet they are also calculated risks rather than foolish choices. With an evolving approach to life you are prepared to knowingly, as if in a calling, move to grow into the career and position that most suits your “Why,” who you are called to become, and what you have come here to do.

Lance Secretan, an international trainer in leadership development has written a wonderful book, The Spark, The Flame and The Torch in which he discusses in detail your Why, Be & Do. The first line of self-questioning, as he sees it, becomes Why are you here? What have you come to accomplish? If it is to be a leader, then how? What are you bringing to that role?

I have seen consistently that by the time we are 18, on some level, we all feel a calling. You may not listen yet there is an inkling, a touch of interest, in a field that intrigues you. For many it is only realized much later when you are established and you look back and see that you have been moving towards this all your life. Perhaps it is in being an entrepreneur, in sales, in human resources, whatever it is, it’s your calling, your “Why.” It comes into consciousness through the lesson you most needed to learn as a child. How you express your “Why” changes as you grow yet the why itself never changes.

Coming from an orphanage, being adopted and raised in a violent home in the housing projects of Boston called me to learn that I needed to become the leader of my own life. I needed, with an open heart, to claim my power and self-definition as well as take risks if I was to grow beyond that environment. My initial desire to teach others that they were not victims, to expand their reach, called me to start out in social work, become a psychotherapist with a thriving practice, opened my own Institute in Holistic Health, and finally become a strategic partner/coach for leaders needing to expand their skills and jump into a higher level of success that feeds and challenges them in new ways. The venue changed yet my “Why” never did.

How focused or aware are you of your “Why”? Your leadership? Why do you want to be a leader? In what way does it feed your passion? Your spirituality? Your joy? Your “Why” is what lets you know you are in the right place at the right time and who doesn’t love that feeling?

Your “Be” closely follows your “Why.” We must all “Be” the leaders of our personal and professional lives, causing us to take responsibility for every choice we make rather than blaming them on others etc. You may not go along with everything someone offers with great excitement, nonetheless, if you choose to go along, it is a choice.  Be an active participant in your life and your relationships. That is much a safer bet for longevity and health.

In your professional life if your desire is to be a leader, or your calling is such, what kind of leader do you choose to be? Dictatorial? Supportive? Inspirational? Motivational? The dreamer with a vision? There are so many choices. Will you keep growing and changing? Will you grab on and hold on tight? Will you lead from fear or from compassion? Will you be at peace and create a culture that supports growth, change, and personal investment from all your people?

What I have seen frequently is that the more you follow your expanding dreams, the more you expand your, and by default your company’s, potential the more you become alive…. With every risk you take the more strengths you discover, the more areas of growth you see, the more joy you experience, and the more alive you become.

Finally, your ”Do” arrives. As I said earlier, take a moment and look over your life. Have you been living your “Why” while being and becoming the person you want to be? If not, gently look to see how have you betrayed yourself. How did you limit yourself? How did you get lost in your own life? How frequently did you settle for surviving rather than living?

Detours can be taken while living your “Why” yet in that case they are a part of the preparation rather than a distraction. If at times you took a position simply because you needed money coming in, fine. Knowing that you did that as a means of paying the bills, supporting a family, etc. doesn’t mean you lost your dream unless you allowed it to go. It could also have been the opportunity to stop, breathe, and catch up with the specifics of how you wanted to get there. Detours can be a great gift. They are only a means of self-betrayal when you let go of yourself along with your “Why” “Be” and “Do”.

Self-Reflections on your Why, Be & Do:

  1. Do you know have an awareness of your purpose, your driving force?
  2. What type of person do you want to become as you live your life?  Generous? Passionate? Inquisitive?  Something else?
  3. What are you doing to support that happening while also making the world a better place?

I’d love to hear what you think and support you in unloscking your why. Contact me at Dorothy@askdrdorothy.com or call (860) 543-5629.

About Dorothy

Dr. Dorothy’s life story of coming from an orphanage, being raised in the housing projects of South Boston, becoming a Catholic nun, an international airline stewardess, a wife, mother, graduate faculty member, Clinical Instructor at a Medical School, and so much more provides the perfect backdrop for her message of joy, humor, passion and faith as the necessary tools for life.